Social media vs father daughter friendship

This is last year's sensational incident from Nashik. Actually now a days such incidents take place almost everyday but evertime for few days there is reaction to news by common public, anger depression, view voices are raised, candle march and then everything is forgotten and we pose ourselves busy in our life. We just think That this won't happen with our daughter. But here only we are mistaken.

A school going boy had friendship with an innocent girl through social media and the boy clicked some photograps of the relationship . Through these photographs he started blackmailing her and raped several times.

Generally we just raise questions that why internet access to be given to children at younger age? Why mobile to girls? Don't the parents know who are their daughter's friend over facebook, with whom she is chatting? And the blaw blaa.....

I think there won't be a solution to this problem this way we need deep thinking and to bring some permanent changes at our home to come out of it so that no blooming bud is deprived off the right to bloom.
What type of thoughts be cultivated and menouvered in their minds so that they are folly bloomed.

Actually girls from seventh to twelfth standard are on a very crucial turn of life. Naturally they will have attraction towards social media. They will be having college friends of other sex and so on. Police and NGO's are counciling them on use of social media but what as parents we can do at home is a strong bonding between parents n daughter.

To build such strong bonding between family the parents need to make her understand that if by chance she is trapped in such incidences through social media or someone blackmailing her it is only her parents who can help her out to come out of it.

Build such confidence in her that she comes n speaks to you without any fear of scolding even when she knows that she is mistaken.

Firstly we should understand that all such incidents happen because the young culprit mind knows that even if a single photo of innocent girl is with that person in his mobile it will be sufficient for him to blackmail the girl.

Now a days there are so many applications on the mobile through which photos can be cropped, face of one girl and the body of some other can be pasted and the benefit of all such is taken by these social culprits.
If we have strong bonding with our daughter especially between father n daughter , the girls won't fear of any worse.

To which extent this father n daughter bond is can be better explained by one incident.
A friend's daughter fell in love with a young boy. The girl had gone to Pune for her education. The family was not aware of this affair. They had physical relation also.
Once they went to a lodge and here someone clicked their photographs in odd position.The culprit caught hold of the girl and threatened her that he will phone her father and call him over there. The culprit was knowing her father and had I'll intension for the girl from the earlier.

In 90% such cases the girls beg please don't tell at home and will do whatever you want and here only the culprits take the chance and misadvantage of the situation and start blackmailing her.

In this case the father daughter duo had very strong bonding and the girl had full confidence that even if she has done some mistake her father will take care of it and she straight away replied the culprit Why you, I myself phone my father and ask for his help.

Here the point is can we build such strong bond with our daughter and the answer is Yes we can.

For this the father will have to take the initial step, for that the father will have to frame a rule that if anyone in his life has insulted or hurt him then in that case he will share his such feelings with wife and daughter as well.

The young daughter will think if my father can share his feelings and ask advice then if I am at problematic situation then father only can be the first person to whom she can call and take advice.

Infact it is not only parents but school also needs to have the same bonding.
When I read this news the next day I called all my tenth std.girls and gave them a confidence that apart from your sir I am your elder brother always with you to support.

I explained about the precautions to be taken while using social media and took them in confidence that if by chance there is any mishappening pls.dont hesitate to share with me if you have difficulty in sharing with your parents tell me I will talk to them I am always with you and we will solve the problem together without advising each other.

Creat a picture in the mind of girls that only your parents are the well wishes and all others will take advantage of you and so you don't hide anything from your parents.

If any one is clicking your photographs just taking advantage of knowing you refuse it don't allow to click personal photographs and if by chance someone is misusing your friendship and tries to come in contact with you tries to touch you or blackmail you then tell him clearly that I will tell my father or my Sir. This type of bonding and confidence is required to be build in every girl, and for that open discussions in every family is required and then only every bud will bloom to the fullest.

Sachin Usha Vilas Joshi
Education activist