What about children's emotional intelligence?

Article by Sachin Usha Vilas Joshi published in Deshdoot Times.

किसी की मुस्कुराहटों पे हो निसार,
किसी का दर्द मिल सके तो ले उधार,
किसी के वास्ते हो तेरे दील मे प्यार
जीना इसी का नाम है..

This song from the film Anari written by the lyricist Shailendra throws light on what is emotional intelligence.

Nowadays, we often hear about EQ. If you want to be successful in this 21st century EQ should be equivalent to IQ.

The way we are attracted towards being virtual and focusing more on the exaggeration of life, in such a situation the EQ of the upcoming generations will decline.

In this competitive world the parents are focusing and working hard on developing their child's IQ so that he or she can excel in the scholastic areas. But according to a research it has been proved that people possessing high EQ will have better business and job opportunities by the year 2040.

What is emotional intelligence?
According to scientist, John Dyer, the ability to recognise intelligence and handle ones emotions and think accordingly is known as emotional intelligence.
In short, it is important to recognise yourself and the feelings of others. You will notice that that a child who is on the merit list or seeking a gold medal in the university does not shine in the exam of life but a child who holds average marks succeeds in the exam of life. The root cause for this success is how the child has developed such a high EQ.

If a person is highly intelligent but is not able to deal with his colleagues nor can he be a team leader and cannot manage stress, friendly relations, nor respect the people working under him can never be successful in life. Success is not achieved single handedly but it is achieved when the people around you take equal efforts in taking you towards your goal. Those who have an excellent EQ are able to bind and maintain relationships.

The question here is, can EQ be increased?
Our EQ basically depends upon the vaules imbibed in us since childhood. Our levels of EQ can be developed only if we are willing to change ourselves.

Nowadays, due to changes in the family lifestyles, high expectations from the children in the name of competition, academic pressure, ban on outdoor activities and arguments between the parents is the result of poor EQ levels among the children.

The students are losing their respect for their teachers because parents fail to respect the teachers.

In today's world youngsters do not value relationships due to sibling rivilary, unlike in the past where we had people staying in joint families and children were more associated with friends and they indulged more in outdoor activities. For example : A chocolate was shared among each friend equally and there was non interference of parents in fights among children.
All this taught children the value of respecting and maintaining human relations.

In the past every success or failure was accepted with pleasure and pride. In the present times, if the child scores less marks, the mother will come to school to find out the reason for a short fall in marks thus making children inacceptance to failure.

The companies, today, do not offer high position jobs to people who have excelled in every walk of life because according to them such people do not know how to handle failures and hence they slip into depression bringing losses to the company. This is the reason why, I tell parents to teach their children to accept failures in a healthy manner.

Since parents are always ready to fulfill every need of their child due to which overpampered children do not have a habit of listening to a 'No' and so when they get rejected at a later stage in life they are not able to digest this rejection. When a person who is not accustomed to a 'No' becomes a boss in an organization; the people working under him/her will always live in fear. In short, EQ is just as important as IQ in life.

Having a good EQ means to understand and respect the feelings of others, being able to express our feelings in a proper manner, admitting our mistakes, not blaming others, not making excuses constantly, being able to trust others and having a trustworthy personality etc are the abilities found under EQ.

Excessive TV viewing, mobile usage and indulgence in the virtual world has an adverse effect on the child's EQ.

Parents, if the family atmosphere is happy, if there is love and respect for family members and maids, respect for the school and teachers, focus on outdoor activities,less mobile and TV usage, healthy spouse relationships, helping the needy etc helps in developing a child's EQ.

Along with the home, the school is equally involved in developing the child's EQ.

Sachin Usha Vilas Joshi
Education Activist